Day off. will walk. get drycleaning. study for gmats. redo resume. watched LOST. Cool. Very cold. still using feather comforter. warm? ever? summer? when?
Cheryl great. little pain. will live.
no money. really. NO money. will live.
clean room. must.
dating. dating. dating. sigh. will live.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Did I mention that I'm an Aquarius AND I was born under the water sign for the Year of the Ox?
Today was a beautiful day. Such weather we have not seen for a long time in New England. Wanting to take advantage of the weather AND my day off, I took some GMAT stuff, my Ipod, some drinks, and some Cracker Jacks to the river. I walked my usual 3 mile route and intended to stop and read some of the books. While walking, I saw that there were way more canoers than usual on the river. When I reached the far bridge, I saw that there was a canoe race on. As it turns out it's North America's largest canoe race. Who knew?
It was a pleasant walk and I wore my Ipod. I was listening to bluegrass. It just seemed the day for it. Eventually, inevitably, a song about heartbreak came on and it got me to thinking about that Baltimore ex-"boyfriend." Lately, I've been pretty active on Match.com, so dating has been at the forefront of my mind. I was pep-talking myself about how badly he treated me. How could he just stop like that? Then I thought about how instant my attraction to him was. And I wondered if I would ever feel it again. I wondered if I moved back to that area, would I try to see him again. I thought, well, I want to get promoted to one of the big stores in that area. I'd like to be a manager there. If that happened, would we even try? And then it hit me.
Like an asteroid.
Like an asteroid that could be responsible for ending life on a planet.
Or maybe even starting it.
I'm not going to move back there.
I'm staying here.
When I thought of myself as a manager at one of those big stores, I realized ... I don't want that job. I'm not interested. I'd rather stay here.
It was like a weight had been lifted. I don't think I really knew what that metaphor meant until I felt it today. So much uncertainty that I had felt for a while was gone. A path seemed to make itself clear. As clear as the one I was currently walking by the river. As clear as the one marked in the tarot cards.
I've finished with this job. A boorish way to say it is that I'm bored. And I get bored, I'll admit. I change jobs as soon as the challenge is gone. In this job, I still have improvements to make. I want to make them. But I'm not motivated to move upward in it. There's nothing more to achieve. And it will be too long a wait for a different job that I'll like in the company.
No, there's another job that I'm going to apply for. It'll be a radical change. I'm not sure that I'm qualified. I'll have to polish up the ol' resume. I haven't used it in ... 6 years? Yikes. I don't know why I held back from applying before. I don't think I was scared of them saying no, so much as I didn't want to find out that I don't have any options. But that's not true anymore either. After all, I'm studying for the GMATs.
The river was in the cards. It represented flow, change. Looking at it today, after my epiphany, I realized that the lesson is to keep moving forward. (Well, we've heard that before.)
The river always flows. Nothing can stop it. And there are no obstacles.
Have you ever noticed that? A river knows no obstacles. The water just flows around them. It always finds a way.
It was a pleasant walk and I wore my Ipod. I was listening to bluegrass. It just seemed the day for it. Eventually, inevitably, a song about heartbreak came on and it got me to thinking about that Baltimore ex-"boyfriend." Lately, I've been pretty active on Match.com, so dating has been at the forefront of my mind. I was pep-talking myself about how badly he treated me. How could he just stop like that? Then I thought about how instant my attraction to him was. And I wondered if I would ever feel it again. I wondered if I moved back to that area, would I try to see him again. I thought, well, I want to get promoted to one of the big stores in that area. I'd like to be a manager there. If that happened, would we even try? And then it hit me.
Like an asteroid.
Like an asteroid that could be responsible for ending life on a planet.
Or maybe even starting it.
I'm not going to move back there.
I'm staying here.
When I thought of myself as a manager at one of those big stores, I realized ... I don't want that job. I'm not interested. I'd rather stay here.
It was like a weight had been lifted. I don't think I really knew what that metaphor meant until I felt it today. So much uncertainty that I had felt for a while was gone. A path seemed to make itself clear. As clear as the one I was currently walking by the river. As clear as the one marked in the tarot cards.
I've finished with this job. A boorish way to say it is that I'm bored. And I get bored, I'll admit. I change jobs as soon as the challenge is gone. In this job, I still have improvements to make. I want to make them. But I'm not motivated to move upward in it. There's nothing more to achieve. And it will be too long a wait for a different job that I'll like in the company.
No, there's another job that I'm going to apply for. It'll be a radical change. I'm not sure that I'm qualified. I'll have to polish up the ol' resume. I haven't used it in ... 6 years? Yikes. I don't know why I held back from applying before. I don't think I was scared of them saying no, so much as I didn't want to find out that I don't have any options. But that's not true anymore either. After all, I'm studying for the GMATs.
The river was in the cards. It represented flow, change. Looking at it today, after my epiphany, I realized that the lesson is to keep moving forward. (Well, we've heard that before.)
The river always flows. Nothing can stop it. And there are no obstacles.
Have you ever noticed that? A river knows no obstacles. The water just flows around them. It always finds a way.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Think happy thoughts.
My sister Cheryl had gastric bypass surgery today. She is doing well, altho in pain. Send her your good karma. Thanks.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Yay and Argh!
I am still tweaked about my visit with the bigwigs. As I dissect it in my head, I'm trying to figure out what was it that made me react so. The results are not conclusive, but I'm feeling like I am not to blame.
The good news: I did the river walk (about 3 miles) on Friday, Saturday, and today. Feeling very good about that. Hope I can keep it up.
The good news: I did the river walk (about 3 miles) on Friday, Saturday, and today. Feeling very good about that. Hope I can keep it up.
Friday, April 17, 2009
My cup runneth over.
Ok, Tarot card reading. 2 of cups, 4 of cups, 8 of cups, eclipse and sun, small dogs, rivers and flow. 8 of cups was leaving knowledge behind and taking a journey, trying new things. An eclipse in the sky. Darkness in light. Then Queen of Swords. Aloof and wise, reclusive and yet sought after for knowledge. Nice compliment. Then 2 of cups, upside down. Someone is offering me something, a cup. Take it. Upside down serves to emphasize chance of it. Then 4 of cups right side up. Eyes are downcast at 3 cups, while a hand from a cloud offers a 4th. Look up. Take it. Rivers in all cards. Representing flow. Finally, THE FOOL. Upside down. A full sun in the sky. About to fall off a cliff. A small dog yaps at me. Fool is traveling. Taking chances. Upside down represents surprises in store.
Basically, I came away from the reading that I need to trust my gut in taking a journey. This journey may take me away from things that I am sure of and knowledgeable about, which makes me afraid, but I should trust it because my knowledge will serve me. Also things are offered to me and I need to trust my instinct in these things. Look up from the cups, take new chances. Don't dwell on the old. When I asked about romance, she said that great surprises were in store.
Whatever that means.
It was a really fascinating thing. We all had it done and everyone ended up getting a reading that had an impact on them. Of course, it was appropriately vague, but eerily accurate. Try it sometime.
Tuesday, I had to go to a training class in Burlington. That was fun. We took a look at the mall and the other store. We ate tapas for lunch and saw the new electronic cigarette. For dinner, it was chipotle. I ended up staying late at work that night to prepare for some big visits the next day. My corp bigwigs were coming and I needed to work my floor. Per usual, I kept it to last minute.
The visits were not ideal. They, in doing their job, have a lot of suggestions. I, in doing my job, am a little defensive. Someone else at work said it best - they are idea people, not solution people. So they have great ideas, but not necessarily practical solutions. So I'm learning tact. It's always been a weakness for me. Let's face it, BS and tact go together like PB and J.
I had the callback audition for the troupe Wed night, right after their visit. It wasn't my strongest performance, but I did feel like I got a little back, when they let me perform an additional monologue at the end. Because time was short, they had asked if we could skip mine earlier, but later offered me the chance to do it after the audition. My biggest problem was that I wasn't contributing in my scenework. But to be fair, we were all doing that. The monologue went better for me, because it was just me. Anyhoo, I found out the next day that I didn't make it. And I would just like to say that she's Meshawesome for a reason.
So maybe that improv troupe in Italy is exactly the kind of chance and journey that I should be taking with my cups of knowledge.
We'll see.
Basically, I came away from the reading that I need to trust my gut in taking a journey. This journey may take me away from things that I am sure of and knowledgeable about, which makes me afraid, but I should trust it because my knowledge will serve me. Also things are offered to me and I need to trust my instinct in these things. Look up from the cups, take new chances. Don't dwell on the old. When I asked about romance, she said that great surprises were in store.
Whatever that means.
It was a really fascinating thing. We all had it done and everyone ended up getting a reading that had an impact on them. Of course, it was appropriately vague, but eerily accurate. Try it sometime.
Tuesday, I had to go to a training class in Burlington. That was fun. We took a look at the mall and the other store. We ate tapas for lunch and saw the new electronic cigarette. For dinner, it was chipotle. I ended up staying late at work that night to prepare for some big visits the next day. My corp bigwigs were coming and I needed to work my floor. Per usual, I kept it to last minute.
The visits were not ideal. They, in doing their job, have a lot of suggestions. I, in doing my job, am a little defensive. Someone else at work said it best - they are idea people, not solution people. So they have great ideas, but not necessarily practical solutions. So I'm learning tact. It's always been a weakness for me. Let's face it, BS and tact go together like PB and J.
I had the callback audition for the troupe Wed night, right after their visit. It wasn't my strongest performance, but I did feel like I got a little back, when they let me perform an additional monologue at the end. Because time was short, they had asked if we could skip mine earlier, but later offered me the chance to do it after the audition. My biggest problem was that I wasn't contributing in my scenework. But to be fair, we were all doing that. The monologue went better for me, because it was just me. Anyhoo, I found out the next day that I didn't make it. And I would just like to say that she's Meshawesome for a reason.
So maybe that improv troupe in Italy is exactly the kind of chance and journey that I should be taking with my cups of knowledge.
We'll see.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Go with the flow.
So yesterday we took my friend from work, Kati, out for her birthday at the Melting Pot. I know from experience this is a good birthday place. While we didn't have as enthusiastic a waiter, we did have an equally good time. AND it was ladies' night. You could get massages, Mary Kay, jewelry, all that women-y stuff, AND a tarot card reading. Ooooohhhhh ...
So we did it.
I'll tell you all about it in my next post. Today was a long day and I wanna get to bed.
So we did it.
I'll tell you all about it in my next post. Today was a long day and I wanna get to bed.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Peeped out
Breakfast: a fish oil pill, water
Went for a 3-mile walk AND I ran part of it (prolly like half a mile). This is a big step up. Hopefully, I can get to the point where I'll run half of it.
Lunch: 4 peeps, a LOT of M&Ms and skittles
Dinner: a whole medium ham and pineapple pizza, coke.
Dinner was prolly overdoing it.
Anyway, I was hoping to catch up on some stuff today. I did do my laundry and go grocery shopping. Did they stop manufacturing Suave deoderant? Because I can't find it anywhere. So when I started considering alternatives, I noticed that they have one "clinical strength" deoderant for $8.99. $8.99?!? I have to imagine how much NOT sweating is worth to me. I'd like to go with $2.49.
While doing my laundry, I was reading my GMAT for Dummies book. This book was written by dummies. Seriously, the authors are so condescending but I can only remind myself that I should have known ... because it says in the title that it's for dummies.
Two things that I didn't get to were hemming my pants and practicing my banjo. I want to get back to that.
Now I'm tired and want to go to bed. It's going to be a busy week at work.
Went for a 3-mile walk AND I ran part of it (prolly like half a mile). This is a big step up. Hopefully, I can get to the point where I'll run half of it.
Lunch: 4 peeps, a LOT of M&Ms and skittles
Dinner: a whole medium ham and pineapple pizza, coke.
Dinner was prolly overdoing it.
Anyway, I was hoping to catch up on some stuff today. I did do my laundry and go grocery shopping. Did they stop manufacturing Suave deoderant? Because I can't find it anywhere. So when I started considering alternatives, I noticed that they have one "clinical strength" deoderant for $8.99. $8.99?!? I have to imagine how much NOT sweating is worth to me. I'd like to go with $2.49.
While doing my laundry, I was reading my GMAT for Dummies book. This book was written by dummies. Seriously, the authors are so condescending but I can only remind myself that I should have known ... because it says in the title that it's for dummies.
Two things that I didn't get to were hemming my pants and practicing my banjo. I want to get back to that.
Now I'm tired and want to go to bed. It's going to be a busy week at work.
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