I don't think that I've had so much stress in my life ever. I mean, if I tell myself any lie at all about why I have the job that I do, I would say, "Ginger, you wanted a low pressure job." Because selling shoes should be, right? But it's not.
I am making more money now than I every have and I'm in the greatest debt of my life. How did I get increasingly irresponsible with a greater and greater income? It's almost as if they are indirectly proportionate to each other.
It's more than just work and money though. I thought everything was straightened out with the roommates, but it's not. Someone backed out on us. I don't need this.
I am so stressed that my neck and shoulder are so tense that I can't fully turn my head to the right. AND I have to do it slowly so that I don't get this shooting pain thru my head, neck and back.
I'm not eating. CAN YOU F-ING BELIEVE THAT?!? I'm not eating!
Do you know that song by Abba, Money, Money, Money? It's my new theme song.
The worst of it is that I know that I will never have a blow-up or breakdown. I am not that person. I will keep taking it. And I don't wonder how much more I can take because I know that I will always take it. Something deep inside won't allow me to put up with someone taking advantage, but if it's just bad luck or bad situations, I will keep taking it. There is no straw that can break this camel's back. So I will never know release. I will never feel like I can be free from it. It will never end.
Stress rage much?
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