185 Snow Pants walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll it be?" The Snow Pants say, "We ski."

We had a show last Friday that was awesome. We've been doing pretty well with our improv. Our troupe is small, which can be difficult sometimes, but it has the advantage of more stage time with each other. This means that we're getting more and more in sync (Get it! Cause we're Kitsch In Sync!) with each other.

This is extremely important in improv - group mind. In fact, it's one of my favorite things about performing ensemble improv. It's an atmosphere of support and teamwork that is unparalleled in the real world, and yet totally possible. This can sometimes make the real world rather frustrating, but I console myself with the fact that I have improv to fall back on. Which is ironic because if I didn't have improv to show me how easy it can be, I probably wouldn't get frustrated. Hmmm ...

This may be arrogant of me too, but I also feel that I'm having a particularly good streak of performances lately too. And that always makes me feel good.

But don't worry. I'm running a 5K this Thursday. That'll bring me back down to earth.

Heat Wave of a Totally Different Kind

I skipped my run this morning. I may still go for a run after work, but it's raining heavily now. This means that I won't be going outdoors. So it must be the gym. Except that I hate going to the gym AFTER work. I much prefer going when it's not so busy. It would be ok if I didn't do my run at all today. I think so.
Meanwhile I went to my doctor last week. My health is fine overall. Of course I'm overweight, but everything else is fine. Except my HDL (my good cholesterol) is too low. They recommend fish and other foods high in Omega-3s. My favorite, preferred, and chosen course of remedy is ...

... drinking alcohol.

It's true. Never has a medical treatment been so welcome.

Actually my combined cholesterol is higher than it was, which could be due to the 2-egg omelettes I've been eating practically every morning for the last 6 months. Oops. And the exercise didn't have any effect on my weight at all. I haven't lost any weight even though I feel like I'm running quite a bit these days. I really do need to start regulating my diet again.

Other things going on in my life:

1. Kitsch In Sync had a fantastic show last Saturday. I was high from it all weekend.
2. The heat wave was killer. And I don't have AC.
3. I applied for a job that I think is perfect for me (somewhere else) but I haven't heard from them, not even a notification that they received my application. Hmm.
4. I seem to have some kind of romantic obsession. Anything with a really sexy love story has me completely spellbound, from True Blood to the Hunger Games trilogy to Anne of Green Gables. Seriously, these could not be more different. I really got to get back into the dating game.

Coconut milk is a natural laxative. That's something Gilligan never told us.

How did I do on the 5K? Well, I finished it. But I don't care about that. What I care about is the fact that 31 people "liked" my status about it on FB. It said,  I crushed my 5K tonight! And by "crushed," I mean "finished."
Either they are excited that I can finish 3.1 miles, or they are impressed by my truly pithy* statement. No other status update has ever gotten so many likes. Eeeeee!

The other notable fact about the 5K is the Zico coconut water that I had at the finish. Somehow the rep at the tent convinced me of its healthful qualities, so I opened up a cool bottle to quench my 5K thirst.

Blech.

When I told my sister about it, she asked, "does it taste like coconut?" I told her that I'm sure that it does, but it requires it to be in my mouth for longer than I am willing to tolerate. They also had Perfect Fuel Chocolate, which is dark chocolate meant to "refuel" you, like an energy bar or something. This rep also pontificated on and on about its healthful benefits, and I nodded appreciatively, wondering when it was going to sink in that I'm helping myself to their free chocolate.

I did not go out afterwards. It was starting to rain and it occurred to me that I just don't want to. BUT I did sign up for another 5K. They're not so hard. And with 31 people to cheer me on, how could I not?

*"Pithy" is the wrong word. But I like it better than "funny."

Running Down a Dream

So I'm running a 5k today.

What?!?!?!?

Yeah, I know. That's not like me at all. I mean, I've run that distance before. I'm using the word "run" loosely here.* But I was motivated by my sister, Kim, who has really taken it up. She whupped my butt in our last 5k. Not only was it her best time, but she RAN the whole thing. Like ... continuously. I'm overwhelmingly impressed by that.

This one is along the river between Watertown and Harvard Square. There's a women's only start time at 7pm, and then the open/coed start time at 7:30. I'm debating which one to do. I think I'll be less intimidated by the women only group, but one of my goals this year was to try to meet new people through new activities, which should really motivate me to go with the open time. Also, there's a mixer afterwards at a pub in Harvard Sq at 8:30pm. If I run at 7pm, I might have time to rush home, shower, change, and go to the mixer. But if I run at 7:30, then I can go straight there, possibly hanging with other people who I've met on the way.

And what if no one else showers and changes? I'll look like an idiot - hygienic, dry, and sweet-smelling, but idiot nonetheless. Who wants that?

Them.

The truth is that I didn't really think this one through. Who wants to meet new people when I've just completed an activity that is not going to let me look my best?

Me.

OMG! I suddenly get why girls wear makeup to the gym.

*By run, I mean that my feet move one in front of the other, in a pace slightly faster than what I would use to walk from the living room to the kitchen. Or rather, occasionally my feet will move at that pace, followed by intermittent periods of my feet moving at a pace pretty close to what I would use if I had been sitting in my car for a half hour** and really had to use the bathroom, and just arrived home.

**Originally, I was going to say 1 hour, but then I realized, in that situation, I would move very fast, possibly faster than I "run." 

The World-Famous West Orange Fireworks Display

Last Wednesday, I decided on a whim to get the heck out of town. I just needed to get out. My friend, Jen, who lives in New Jersey, kindly offered a place to stay for a brief visit. AND, in a great confluence of events, it turns out my family was going to be in Pennsylvania on Friday. So I spent the 4th of July with Jen and her beautiful family, then I drove down to PA on Friday to eat lunch with my family at the Shady Maple Smorgasbigasafootballfieldbord. I spent Friday night with Jen again and drove back to Massachusetts on Saturday. I shoulda stayed an additional night since I don't have air conditioning! 

For a last minute plan, it turned out beautifully. Firstly it was great fun to hang out with Jen, her family, and her friends on Independence Day. We went to a bbq; I ate an inordinate amount of deviled eggs
(the secret is Italian dressing);
and then we went to the WORLD FAMOUS WEST ORANGE FIREWORKS. I asked why they are world famous, and apparently the answer is that people in other parts of the world know about them. Which both answered my question and ... well ... did not. I tell you now that it is an INTERACTIVE experience because you can actually FEEL the fireworks exploding! And by that I mean, that little bits of exploded fireworks casings with fall on you while you watch. That's how close we were!!!

Actually as fireworks displays go, it's pretty darn good. They had heart-shaped ones.

Hanging out with Jen (and/or Leanne for that matter) is always fun. It's not only great to catch up on each other's lives, but somehow reassuring. It's like this feeling that the passage of time is happening equally and to all of us, and there's a kind of camaraderie to it. Maybe it's because Jen, Leanne, and I have made a tradition of doing something annually for our birthdays, which would really drive the point of aging home. It's nice to see that I'm not growing old alone (even though it's happening to me against my will).

On Friday, I saw my family. The Shady Maple SmorgasbigasRhodeIslandbord is a buffet style restaurant that my father discovered on a trip to/from Ohio. It's near Amish country. The seating area is huge and the buffet runs the entire length of the building. The line to get in is long, but the advantage of such a big place is that it doesn't take long at all. The food isn't really that great. It's your standard buffet-style food. (Although they did have these rolls made from pretzel dough - yum!) Anyway, my father calls it his "happy place." Something to remember if ever my father is in pain and not long for this life.

The gift shop was outrageous! Filled to the brim with bric-a-brac and runs underneath the entire length of the restaurant portion! Figurines, toys, tshirts, merchandising from every major franchise and film in the last 50 years. Disney, comics, animals, and AMISH. That's right. There was merchandising for the AMISH. Tshirts, figurines, food, lunchboxes, you know, that sort of thing. Including costumes and hats. Which brought about one of the funniest things that I'd seen in a long time.

Upon being given a traditional Amish men's straw hat to try on, my brother placed it on his head, put his hands on his hips, paused, and then with a disdainful look in his eye whispered, "This barn ain't going up fast enough." I began to laugh hysterically because suddenly I had a vision of an Amish man watching a barn-raising and thinking to himself, "This no-technology crap sucks!"

I laughed so hard that I cried.

It's always good to see my family. And my mother and sister, Kim, didn't know I was coming so it was a surprise to them! Good times. By the time we were done at Shady Maple Smorgasbigasacontinentbord, I decided that I shouldn't try to head straight for MA. So back to Jen's for another night. Hung out a little more; played some games. And then a leisurely start on Saturday.

It was a great weekend, and I'm grateful for friends and family and, most of all, the freedom to be able to get up and get out whenever I want. Because sometimes, you really just need to go see some world famous fireworks.

P.S. Jen and Giovanna, you just lost the game.

Miss Popularity

Ach! Nothing came of that last date. We talked and texted a few times, and then we were supposed to go out and suddenly, to use a movie term, he "went dark." No contact, nothing, nada!
It might have been because I was supposed to text back on a Monday night after practice and didn't because I went out with a friend after practice, had a couple of beers, went home, and fell asleep right away. But I had forgiven him for not contacting me for months! He can't forgive one night?

Hmmmm ...

Last night I went out with some friends for a girls' night and one of them asked me how often I go out; "what, like, once a week?"

I was agog!

My friends think I'm popular!!!

That's the nicest compliment I've gotten in a long time. Seriously.

Then I immediately had low self-esteem. It suddenly seemed like this was an expectation of me, and I was letting my friends down. When I had to tell her, "No, it's more like once a year," it dawned on me that I've probably gone down in their estimation. They thought I was cool enough to have a date a week, and I'm not. So now, I'm not only letting my friends down, but I'm unattractive enough to get that many dates! My only comforting thought was perhaps this makes them feel better about themselves. You know, like Schadenfreude.*

I'm always happy to help others with their self-esteem.

Still I felt like I got a glimpse of what it must have been like to be one of those popular girls who give in to peer pressure. I mean, the weight of having to meet your friends' expectations is daunting.

*Wikipedia it!

Are you listening?

I had a date last night and it was awesome! Do you know how long it's been since I've been on an AWESOME date? Continents were still drifting.
He looks like my ideal - blond and blue-eyed. And he asked me so many questions. At one point, he apologized for asking so many questions, and I had to tell him that I love it! So different from the last date I was on.*
At the end of the date, he was such a gentleman. So much in fact, that I thought he might not be interested.
But he just called! and he definitely wants to talk.

Fingers crossed!

*did I tell you about that? Ugh, it was awful. I LITERALLY never thought I would say this but I got sick of him being interested in me only physically. Not that I don't want someone to be interested in me physically, but come on! I'm a smart person, I can tell that you're just asking the perfunctory obligatory conversational questions and that you're not really interested in listening to me. Conversation went something like this:

Me: Aren't you going to ask me any questions? (I LITERALLY had to ask him to ask me questions).
Him: What historical period do you most like?
Me: (stunned) What? Oh, uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Victorian, I guess.
Him: Really?
Me: Well, I think the scientific advances of the time really influenced the art of the time.
Him: What scientific advances?
Me: Oh, like the study of anatomy, it reallyHIM: I'd like to study your anatomy!

Of course, this is the first guy I meet after I dated a guy who asked me 4 times within the span of two hours, "Which one is your parking space?" We were standing IN IT for the first three times he asked. On the 4th, I snapped back, and he took it personally. He sulked for about an hour and then tried to instigate a fight. I apologized, saying that I don't like feeling like I'm not being listened to. He ignored that and kept trying to fight. I stopped the fight and said, "This is what I'm talking about." He backed down, but I LITERALLY lost interest in him at that moment.

The long and short of it.

So that date I went on? It was normal. Unfortunately no sparks. That's a shame.

Of course, I should have known. This man told me that he'd never seen an episode of Seinfeld in his life. How is that even possible?!? It's on 30 different channels at least twice a day, and they show 4 shows each time, and I'm pretty sure that they're broadcasting it into space to prepare aliens for what sarcasm sounds like. It's ridiculous!!! In all seriousness, we have to admit, that this is a show that has become a defining cultural icon of the '90s, like leisure suits in the '70s.

Imagine having a conversation where you say, "He's a close talker," and the other person DOESN'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. If he were smart, he might figure it out from the context clues, but my goodness, you don't want your date conversation to turn into a 5th grade reading question!

He also did not know what imdb is. One of my proudest moments is being listed on imdb.* He had no idea what that was.

So how can someone who's into comedy and pop culture, and loves movies, be with someone who's never seen Seinfeld, and is not familiar with imdb?

Short answer: You can't. Long answer: I tried, but it still takes me back to the short answer.

*Incidentally, despite having been told several times in my life that I have a "movie star's name," I am the ONLY one with my name on imdb. Yeah bitches. 

This man is an idiot. He likens the lockdown in Boston to a "military style occupation."

For those of you who weren't locked down, which includes this idiot, we were not forced to stay indoors. If you follow my Facebook page, you no doubt saw my pictures taken from outside my front door.

The lockdown was more of a request that everyone stay inside.

We weren't being forced at gunpoint to get back into our houses. When anyone did encounter law enforcement, they were simply asked to go back inside. Neither did we have any of our other rights taken away, i.e. we weren't told we couldn't vote, or what religion we were supposed to be.

I think what makes me angriest of all, is that he says "we have been conditioned to believe that the job of the government is to keep us safe, but in reality the job of the government is to protect our liberties."

There are so many things wrong with this statement, but suffice to say if you want to make this argument, then you are not allowed to claim that the 2nd Amendment and the right to own a gun is so that individual citizens defend their liberties. I am sorry, sir, but you cannot. It is a poorly reasoned argument.

Springtime in a Bottle

Ugh, Day whatever and that cigarette smell is still here. I think I should order some Febreze for the office.

Hey, I'm gonna chanel Mindy Kaling and do Things I Love!

Febreze!

This stuff is awesome. It needs to be on your dresser or in your purse as if it were a moisturizing lip balm that you can't live without. It solves almost all laundry problems (by which I mean, you didn't do your laundry and want to re-wear something that you're pretty sure is questionable). It deodorizes rooms (great for getting rid of early morning smell). And it can have you smelling fresh and clean as a daisy for work (after an all-night bender of partying, leaving you little time to actually change your clothes for work).

Nota bene: it does not freshen breath.

I was first introduced to Febreze when I lived in Japan. I gave private English lessons to a woman who worked at a public relations firm in Tokyo. Febreze was one of their clients. She and her coworkers had been given samples to test. She tested hers by staying out all night (as is the norm in Tokyo) and then febrezing herself at the end, in time to go to work. I kid you not - smelled as fresh and clean as a daisy.

Nota bene: daisies do not actually have a scent.

As part of an English lesson, I encouraged her to describe and "sell" the product to me. She did such a good job that one could say that it is a testament to my teaching abilities, or one could say that she is very good at her job. idk, one or the other.

Nota bene: I didn't make a lot of money as a teacher.

In any case, that's when I started using Febreze. I have used it after all night carousing in Tokyo. I have used it on a former roommate's towels, which she NEVER washed. I've used it in cars, shoes, bathrooms, clothes hampers, curtains, and couches. Once I even used it on my hair.

I don't know where it gets its magical powers, but they should bottle and se ... oh wait.

Today I am working in the store all alone again. It's not such a big deal really. It saves me money in my budget, and I get endless hours of web surfing. The only thing is that trying to do office work from the store is a lil' difficult. It's very distracting here. 

Also that cigarette smell is back! Argh.

It might have been the reason that we had a fire alarm go off in the building. And for the first time in a long time, we actually evacuated the building. The alarm goes off all the time, and we almost never evacuate. Everyone waits a few minutes for the announcement that it was a false alarm. But no one waited this time. Not after last week. 

What a fun evening I had last night. I went out to dinner with a very good friend of mine.

We went to a great restaurant here in Boston, Toro. It's a tapas restaurant by Ken Oringer - my inner food snob rejoices. Excellent food. I highly recommend the grilled corn with aioli. Yum. And the Paella Valenciana was very good, if a little too al dente. But this is from someone who never liked Paella. Also, it's a wonderful place to try Iberico ham - if you don't mind paying a LOT of money for ham. I would pay anything for it. 

The best thing about going out to good restaurants with this friend is that he's a chef. So I always know it's going to be good food. Of course, he's pretty even-keeled in his opinions of other restaurants. So I've never heard a blatant criticism. However when the bill comes to $122.24 for two people, you expect good. or really good criticism.

Tonight I have a date. I met him online. After a brief email exchange (which I prefer) he asked me appropriately out for a drink. So we'll see how it goes. I am hoping that this will be normal date. Of course, I'd like sparks, but if that is not in the cards, it would be reassuring to know that there are at least normal dates to be had. 

Smoke Signals

I'm working in the store today, and it's very warm. Two of the walls are glass and they magnify the sunlight. It's soooooooo warm.
Also, it smells like cigarette smoke in here. This is very frustrating because it's not coming from inside or just outside the store. It's actually coming from the air vents. Which means that some idiot has decided to take his/her smoke break right by the air intake. I really want to go out there with a sign and a blunt instrument.
Do I sound nasty? Sorry.
I was having a good day up until the cigarette smoke. This is the 2nd time this week.

My only consolation is that cigarette smoke is BAD for that person.

Boston - You're my home.

So, I haven't been on this blog in over a year. I had just about given up blogging. Why come back? Because Friday, April 19, 2013, I was on lockdown in Watertown, Massachusetts, less than half a mile from where they arrested the 2nd suspect in the Boston Marathon bombings. And for some reason, I feel the need to blog about that.

I think most people have this idea that I was in my apartment all day, quivering in fear and trying to avoid the windows and glass. Not true. At about 12 noon, we started drinking. I had already cleaned the living room and bathroom. Then I swept the kitchen floor. I wasn't going to do an all-out kitchen clean because I just didn't have it in me after the bathroom. Then I baked a chocolate cake. That's what we had for dinner.

I had a couple of friends ask me if I wanted to speak to the news stations in their home towns (Richmond and Raleigh). I felt uncomfortable with that idea, not because I had any kind of personal protest, but because I just didn't know what was going on, so I didn't know what I could say.

News Anchor: "Can you describe the situation where you are?"
Me: "Yeah, well, the bathroom has mildew in all the little grout lines, so I spent about 20 minutes working on that."

It probably didn't help that I'd had a couple of drinks too. Ultimately, my propensity for joking during times of crises is probably not what the news stations were looking for.

I get it, of course, from my mother, who upon being alerted that my roommates and I were in lockdown in our town, said we should just have a party and drink.

We drank, but it was not a party. We kept the mood light, but that was only because the tv blared nothing but news all day. Incorrect news. Wild accusation news. I felt like running out to the Fox TV camera crew right outside of our house and begging them, "Please get just one thing right!!!"

We also listened to the police scanner all day. That felt like the most accurate thing that we could listen to. It kept cutting off, and at one point, the police went on radio silence. Probably because everyone in the United States was tweeting everything that they heard on the police scanners. But you have to ask yourself, if the police don't want everyone to know what's happening, why are there apps?

Mad bomber on the loose in your town? There's an app for that.

That's not to say that they weren't some scary moments. At 1am that morning, my roommate woke me up to tell me that something was going on. We saw the emergency vehicles flying by on our street. EVERYONE. Not just Watertown, there was Boston PD, fire vehicles, ambulances, FBI, ATF. (Later that day, we saw more of the surrounding town PDs and even a SWAT team from New Hampshire!) My roommate and I listened for 3 hours to the news and police scanner trying to determine what was happening. I had my Google maps open on my tablet to try and track exactly where they were. Comically, the traffic app told us exactly where the road blocks were and hence outlined the cordoned-off search area. At about 4am, we heard the police scanner announce that they were falling back to an HQ set up in the mall parking lot, and they would resume their search at daylight. At this point, it still seemed pretty exciting.

I went to bed then, thinking this will all be over when I wake up. But at about 7am, I heard my roommates in the living room. I was surprised to find them dressed. Through the front windows, they were watching the police search across the street. Only the exterior, yards, bushes, parking lots, etc. But then they saw them storm the Starbucks. (For coffee?) In that moment, I had to make a decision that I didn't like contemplating. Wait and see? or be ready to be searched? Hope for the best, prep for the worst. I got dressed, I brushed my teeth, I got ready to go outside.

I think what made that decision so heavy was the realization then that they still hadn't found him. At that hour of the morning, having seen so many law enforcement arrive, I was thinking, "why haven't they found him yet?" And the only answer that made sense then was, "Because he's escaped."

That was the most frightening thought of all.

Of course, when they did find him, it made perfect sense why not. They didn't find him because he'd actually found a really good hiding place and hadn't moved all day. The dogs couldn't trace him because they didn't have anything with his scent.

This doesn't explain why a regular guy who's been in lockdown all day because of a manhunt for a killer with a gun and bombs thinks the reasonable course of action when he sees a trail of blood and a ripped tarp on his boat is to just go check it out all by himself.

World's luckiest guy.

It does reveal that the guy, the 2nd suspect, the 19 year old Chechen, is just a scared, stupid kid. I hate what he did. And I feel so bad for him.

Meanwhile, Boston can surprise you. These are a loud and aggressive people, whose very idea of entitlement allowed them to say, "F*#$ you, King George!! We'll start our own freakin' country!" They are tenacious. They found him.

And they are grateful. They poured out in streams to cheer the law enforcement at the scene. Right at our intersection, there were hundreds of us, cheering for each and every one who passed us. For the whole weekend after, the pride continued. People thanked them on the street. People bought coffee for them randomly. There were thank-you signs everywhere.

The heart swells.

So I updated my Facebook page to say that I'm currently living in Watertown, MA. You know, now that everyone knows where it is.