Even though I once worked at an improv theater and was in a show pretty regularly, I'm fairly inexperienced at performance. I haven't done any other kind of theater. I've never sung professionally. I always get stage right and stage left mixed up. But I've had moments that make me see why people do it, what makes it so addicting, and why they'd give such long Oscar speeches.
When I worked at the museum, I was giving a tour of the historic house once. It was a large group of retirees, about 15-20 people. They took these kinds of trips all the time. They had booked the tour well in advance. Because it wasn't one of our regularly scheduled tours, the assistant director of education (me) gave it. I was used to giving tours of the house and enjoyed it immensely. I always tried to bring the place to life and place the visitors in the time and place for which the house was meant. Halfway through the tour, my boss quietly joined and listened in on the tour, hanging onto the end of the group. When it was finished, the group applauded me. That was the only time that I'd gotten applause for that tour. As we left the house, they each one shook my hand and told me how much they enjoyed it, which meant a lot because they'd visited a lot of places. Later, my supervisor mentioned that she'd never gotten applause on a tour. I felt proud.
When I was in grad school, I was a TA for a semester and one of my professors (my favorite professor) let me lead a lecture for her art history class. I did the research and pulled the slides. My lecture was on modern art. I'll be honest, art history classes can be snooze fests. Imagine that you're sitting in the dark in an overly warm auditorium listening to someone talk about stuff that's at least 100 years old, and rather esoteric stuff at that. I gave a great lecture. And the class applauded. My professor listened to the whole thing in the back. Afterwards, when I was getting my slides, she mentioned that she'd never gotten applause for any of her lectures. Well, you can imagine how that made me feel.
I remember one particular show when I was performing improv regularly. I was doing my favorite character, Tikka Masala, in Good Bad Worst Advice. I was bad advice. On the final question, I made one of the other performers laugh so hard that he had to turn away. The audience was with me, laughing so hard. We had yet to give the worst advice. And when he did, he set me up for the perfect call back to an earlier joke. It was the high laugh and the perfect way to end the game. I'll never forget how great that felt.
Today at work, I performed in our pep rally this morning. Another manager and I put together a Broadway song with revised words. We had a little choreography. We had a pretty good harmony. When we rehearsed, we didn't sound bad. The performance went great. When we got to that final note and held it, they gave us a standing ovation. They cheered and hollered for us. It felt every bit as great as all those other moments. We alone of all the managers got a standing ovation.
In every unforgettable instance, I earned the applause of my audience and the envy of my peers. One without the other would not have been nearly so sweet or memorable.
You wish you were me.
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Is there a good 185 joke for "Barack Obama?"
Is it possible for me to be funny-ed out? I think it might be. Tonight I went to an audition for a short form improv group. I had fun if nothing else. There were about 30-40 people there for 2-3 open spots in this group. Can you believe it? And these auditioners were good. More than half should be performers. I'm currently writing another sketch. I'm being extremely lazy about it. I guess because I'm still trying to decide whether to stage it. Sadly, going to the audition meant missing volleyball. Damn.
In other performance news, I'll be performing at a lil' pep rally at work this coming Saturday morning. We are taking a Broadway show tune (my favorite kind of tune) and changing the words to make it about work. We'll throw in costumes and choreography. "And I'll get my Uncle Bob to let us use the barn!" It'll be swell. I'm actually kinda looking forward to it. I've been practicing the song in my car.
Actually, I sang a lot yesterday. My roommates (who can now be classified officially as "roommawesome") took me to dinner at a Korean restaurant and then to ASIAN STYLE KARAOKE! Yes! Our own little rooms! No performing for drunk bar crowds or listening to "Friends in Low Places" (although I do like that song). Instead we sang only what we wanted, which in our case included some Thai songs by Jason's girlfriend. YOU CAN'T DO THAT IN A BAR! Unless it's a Thai bar. Yes, we sang lots, my roommates brought a cake into the place, they tried to get me drunk, but I was so stuffed with korean food, that instead I was just happy. I wore the tiara.
This was after a totally amazing trip home. It wasn't very long, but it was long enough to see some old friends. Luckily, I saw Mesha before she went in for surgery. Sadly, it might be a while till I see the results of the surgery in person. Hopefully, she can visit Beantown and show it off. If only Carson Kressley were going to be here. I got her some jello for her convalescence. Like I told her, "it's for sick people."
I saw MaryAnn, her son and her mother. I visited them at their house. Which is exactly where I love to visit them. I wish that there was a word for MaryAnn that encapsulated her energy, zaniness, compassion, humor, and wealth of trivial knowledge. I think the word might be "NKOTB fan." She has passed this love on to her son. When she puts on an NKOTB song, he comes shrieking into the room, quivering with excitement, and begins to dance. Sadly, he might have to start food therapy (I am not making this up). But he's so darn smart and so darn cute that I'm sure he'll learn to love chicken fingers.
I saw Jen and Leanne as well. My mother says that we're boring and she's right. Our idea of fun was Ikea ... ok, it was fun. We're nerds, what do you expect? We had a lovely dinner at Melting Pot with a very enthusiastic waiter - reciting the menu for us was like a dream come true for this guy. Don't even get me started on his passion for clearing the table. We all wore tiaras to dinner and donuts. Later, we ate Krispy Kreme donuts (only HOT ones!) Jen gave us an album with photos of our past trips - very cool. Next year, we should have fondue ... in Paris.
I saw some of my old Val Gal friends. Seeing them is a treat because that's when I really feel like I'm in Richmond. Together they are the perfect slice of life in Richmond - ghetto, elite, Southern and fabulous. I met Christina in Croaker's Spot. That restaurant is the smell of heaven.
And I went to see Billie. Same old Billie. It makes you wanna love her more. I really do wish that I got to see her more often. I didn't get to see her son, but he sounds wonderful. She's doing well, although she broke her wrist, which didn't get diagnosed for weeks, so she worked with it, taking lots of painkillers, waiting for the pain to go away, until finally she went back to have it reassessed, they discovered that it was in fact broken, put her in a cast, and then told her that she couldn't work for 4 weeks until it healed. This kind of thing happens to Billie all the time. You gotta love her.
Finally, I did get to see my family. I prolly coulda spent more time with them, but they did get to see me for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'll prolly see all of them over the summer or sometime in between. I love and miss them. But I really wanted my vacation to be about catching up with old friends and reminiscing about old times. I'm so glad that I did. It'd been a year since I saw Jen and Leanne, 9 months since I'd seen Mesha, and I don't even remember the last time that I saw MaryAnn, Billie, and the Val Gals. I mean to keep these friends for life, so ...
Speaking of old friends that I should see, Kalpana called me today! She's been put on bed rest til the delivery. Working too hard means that she's dilated an inch. I think she said 3 weeks til she's due. I'll let you know as soon as I do.
Tuesday, I'm going skiing (finally!) Laura wrangled it off and asked if I wanted to go. I made some switcheroos at work, so I think it'll be good. I'm excited. And then hopefully, we'll go to trivia that night. We'll see. If not, there's always karaoke.
185 skiers walk into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve skiers in here." And the skiers say, "But we just needed a lift."
185 Thais walk into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve Thais in here." And the Thais all say, "But we came with Mai." Get it, Mai Tai? Get it?
185 Melting Pot waiters walk into a bar and the bartender says, "We can't serve you here." And the waiters all say, "But we're so fond-of-ue." Get it? Fondue? Get it? ...say it quickly.
185 people with broken wrists walk into the bar and the bartender says, "We can't serve you here." And the 185 people with broken wrists say, "Are you going to cast us out?"
185 Orthognathic surgeons walk into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve Orthognathic surgeons in here." And the Orthognathic surgeons all punch him in the jaw.
185 donuts walk into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve donuts." And the donuts all scoff and say, "Like we would eat donuts?"
12 NKOTB fans walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is that all?"
I still got it. If you have any good ones, please share.
In other performance news, I'll be performing at a lil' pep rally at work this coming Saturday morning. We are taking a Broadway show tune (my favorite kind of tune) and changing the words to make it about work. We'll throw in costumes and choreography. "And I'll get my Uncle Bob to let us use the barn!" It'll be swell. I'm actually kinda looking forward to it. I've been practicing the song in my car.
Actually, I sang a lot yesterday. My roommates (who can now be classified officially as "roommawesome") took me to dinner at a Korean restaurant and then to ASIAN STYLE KARAOKE! Yes! Our own little rooms! No performing for drunk bar crowds or listening to "Friends in Low Places" (although I do like that song). Instead we sang only what we wanted, which in our case included some Thai songs by Jason's girlfriend. YOU CAN'T DO THAT IN A BAR! Unless it's a Thai bar. Yes, we sang lots, my roommates brought a cake into the place, they tried to get me drunk, but I was so stuffed with korean food, that instead I was just happy. I wore the tiara.
This was after a totally amazing trip home. It wasn't very long, but it was long enough to see some old friends. Luckily, I saw Mesha before she went in for surgery. Sadly, it might be a while till I see the results of the surgery in person. Hopefully, she can visit Beantown and show it off. If only Carson Kressley were going to be here. I got her some jello for her convalescence. Like I told her, "it's for sick people."
I saw MaryAnn, her son and her mother. I visited them at their house. Which is exactly where I love to visit them. I wish that there was a word for MaryAnn that encapsulated her energy, zaniness, compassion, humor, and wealth of trivial knowledge. I think the word might be "NKOTB fan." She has passed this love on to her son. When she puts on an NKOTB song, he comes shrieking into the room, quivering with excitement, and begins to dance. Sadly, he might have to start food therapy (I am not making this up). But he's so darn smart and so darn cute that I'm sure he'll learn to love chicken fingers.
I saw Jen and Leanne as well. My mother says that we're boring and she's right. Our idea of fun was Ikea ... ok, it was fun. We're nerds, what do you expect? We had a lovely dinner at Melting Pot with a very enthusiastic waiter - reciting the menu for us was like a dream come true for this guy. Don't even get me started on his passion for clearing the table. We all wore tiaras to dinner and donuts. Later, we ate Krispy Kreme donuts (only HOT ones!) Jen gave us an album with photos of our past trips - very cool. Next year, we should have fondue ... in Paris.
I saw some of my old Val Gal friends. Seeing them is a treat because that's when I really feel like I'm in Richmond. Together they are the perfect slice of life in Richmond - ghetto, elite, Southern and fabulous. I met Christina in Croaker's Spot. That restaurant is the smell of heaven.
And I went to see Billie. Same old Billie. It makes you wanna love her more. I really do wish that I got to see her more often. I didn't get to see her son, but he sounds wonderful. She's doing well, although she broke her wrist, which didn't get diagnosed for weeks, so she worked with it, taking lots of painkillers, waiting for the pain to go away, until finally she went back to have it reassessed, they discovered that it was in fact broken, put her in a cast, and then told her that she couldn't work for 4 weeks until it healed. This kind of thing happens to Billie all the time. You gotta love her.
Finally, I did get to see my family. I prolly coulda spent more time with them, but they did get to see me for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I'll prolly see all of them over the summer or sometime in between. I love and miss them. But I really wanted my vacation to be about catching up with old friends and reminiscing about old times. I'm so glad that I did. It'd been a year since I saw Jen and Leanne, 9 months since I'd seen Mesha, and I don't even remember the last time that I saw MaryAnn, Billie, and the Val Gals. I mean to keep these friends for life, so ...
Speaking of old friends that I should see, Kalpana called me today! She's been put on bed rest til the delivery. Working too hard means that she's dilated an inch. I think she said 3 weeks til she's due. I'll let you know as soon as I do.
Tuesday, I'm going skiing (finally!) Laura wrangled it off and asked if I wanted to go. I made some switcheroos at work, so I think it'll be good. I'm excited. And then hopefully, we'll go to trivia that night. We'll see. If not, there's always karaoke.
185 skiers walk into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve skiers in here." And the skiers say, "But we just needed a lift."
185 Thais walk into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve Thais in here." And the Thais all say, "But we came with Mai." Get it, Mai Tai? Get it?
185 Melting Pot waiters walk into a bar and the bartender says, "We can't serve you here." And the waiters all say, "But we're so fond-of-ue." Get it? Fondue? Get it? ...say it quickly.
185 people with broken wrists walk into the bar and the bartender says, "We can't serve you here." And the 185 people with broken wrists say, "Are you going to cast us out?"
185 Orthognathic surgeons walk into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve Orthognathic surgeons in here." And the Orthognathic surgeons all punch him in the jaw.
185 donuts walk into a bar and the bartender says, "We don't serve donuts." And the donuts all scoff and say, "Like we would eat donuts?"
12 NKOTB fans walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is that all?"
I still got it. If you have any good ones, please share.
Friday, February 20, 2009
VA better than MA
ok, ok, a real entry is coming soon.
But in the meantime, how cool is this?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090220/ap_on_re_us/homecoming_drag_queen
Proof positive that Virginia isn't as backward as you thought.
But in the meantime, how cool is this?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090220/ap_on_re_us/homecoming_drag_queen
Proof positive that Virginia isn't as backward as you thought.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Dick Cheney - stop saying words!
Now let's concentrate on what's really important - MY life.
I've been meeting people from Match.com. It's been fun. No keepers yet, but some very nice people. One guy has a lot of experience with making/doing comedy. So that might turn into something.
Been going to trivia a lot in South Boston. Last Tuesday was a great one. My roommate and I went to a place called the Junction and met a group of guys. Together we formed the ultimate trivia team, 80 degrees. We came in 2nd and they generously donated the $25 prize towards our beer bill, in exchange for coming again next Tuesday. So the exciting new is ... I have plans next Tuesday! That almost never happens. We could have one if I had remembered that it was "Disco Duck" and not "Howard the Duck."
Work has slowed. But this is good for me cause I like to use the time to get back to basics and rediscover passion for the job. Which I need right now.
I am taking a vacation this month. Just gonna go home and visit with old friends, like Billie. Haven't seen her in over a year, so that should be fun. Well, I guess it will have been a year since I've seen Leanne and Jen, so ... that'll be even more fun. Just gonna see a whole bunch of friends. And family.
I'm trying to get back into comedy writing. I have a killer idea and I really wanna stage it, but I'm not sure that I'm willing to get into the work and commitment that it will take. I just wish there was someone else that could take my idea and run with it. You know, like maybe get the actors, and tell them how to do it, and then put it on a stage and figure out when it'll be and all that. And then I could just go watch it when it's finished and soak up the applause. I think they call that guy the "director."
My little video project, "The Return of Sauron," should be finished in mid-March. We may stage a lil' premiere here in Boston. And then it'll be coming soon to a YouTube near you. I'll keep you updated.
Finally, I got bangs. No, nothing drastic. I've gotten a lot of compliments, so that's good. If not done right, bangs can be a disaster and a huge regret.
Like Dick Cheney.
I've been meeting people from Match.com. It's been fun. No keepers yet, but some very nice people. One guy has a lot of experience with making/doing comedy. So that might turn into something.
Been going to trivia a lot in South Boston. Last Tuesday was a great one. My roommate and I went to a place called the Junction and met a group of guys. Together we formed the ultimate trivia team, 80 degrees. We came in 2nd and they generously donated the $25 prize towards our beer bill, in exchange for coming again next Tuesday. So the exciting new is ... I have plans next Tuesday! That almost never happens. We could have one if I had remembered that it was "Disco Duck" and not "Howard the Duck."
Work has slowed. But this is good for me cause I like to use the time to get back to basics and rediscover passion for the job. Which I need right now.
I am taking a vacation this month. Just gonna go home and visit with old friends, like Billie. Haven't seen her in over a year, so that should be fun. Well, I guess it will have been a year since I've seen Leanne and Jen, so ... that'll be even more fun. Just gonna see a whole bunch of friends. And family.
I'm trying to get back into comedy writing. I have a killer idea and I really wanna stage it, but I'm not sure that I'm willing to get into the work and commitment that it will take. I just wish there was someone else that could take my idea and run with it. You know, like maybe get the actors, and tell them how to do it, and then put it on a stage and figure out when it'll be and all that. And then I could just go watch it when it's finished and soak up the applause. I think they call that guy the "director."
My little video project, "The Return of Sauron," should be finished in mid-March. We may stage a lil' premiere here in Boston. And then it'll be coming soon to a YouTube near you. I'll keep you updated.
Finally, I got bangs. No, nothing drastic. I've gotten a lot of compliments, so that's good. If not done right, bangs can be a disaster and a huge regret.
Like Dick Cheney.
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